Admire Without Idolizing
A Reminder of Humanity
Respect people’s work. But don’t worship their status.
One of my friends excitedly messaged me: a prominent figure from the tech-Twitter community had just followed him. I noted it was cool and noticed a common pattern, especially among newer members of the community (and in some cases, older ones too): they forget that these individuals are just humans like us and thus have flaws. These high achievers might be the best or conventionally most accomplished, but that doesn’t mean we should treat them any differently from everyone else. I too was a practitioner of such behaviour, where I’d jump up and down (literally) when one of my then “idols” followed me. I eventually became desensitized to it as I realized they're just people — like me.
One reason we forget is that we often hear about or get to know them online, which is notorious for only amplifying popular truths rather than the whole truth. What I’m trying to say is that most of what we see and hear likely doesn’t capture the full picture, and it was never intended to either. When we post on LinkedIn, Twitter, or Instagram, we’re incentivized to share good moments and outcomes; however, even if we share a bad one or a “failure,” the narrative we spin evokes a positive emotion (this is true for information sharing that takes place in-person as well). Rarely does it harm one’s own image, unless someone truly shoots themselves in the foot.
This emotional buildup distorts our perception, producing an image of superiority of this individual, even though it isn’t the case. We feel inferior, comparing our behind-the-scenes with their highlights. We forget how far we’ve come — simply because we’re too focused on how far we still have to go. These notable individuals are placed on a pedestal by our biggest foe: our mind. We get stuck in a positive feedback loop of self-doubt fuelled by idolization, thinking we’ll never be as good as them, as they’re “gifted”. This is hardly the case.
Sometimes, we even lack the technical knowledge to see the caveats or shortcomings of their achievements. We’re also not shown and, in some cases, voluntarily choose not to see the hidden privilege, team, or luck behind their success. Social-media algorithms are made to recommend content you want to see. For example, if you like a post of someone achieving something impressive, your algorithm will flood with posts amplifying the achievement. If you see a contrarian post, you’ll likely assume it’s hate and won't question or even want to gain the full picture, because it’ll rock your worldview. This explains why fanboys/girls have an identity crisis when their idol gets cancelled.
Just because someone is more notable doesn’t mean they should be treated any differently from how you’d treat the average person you meet on a street. I’m very sure that if an individual on the street approached you, you’ll take what they say with a grain of salt; however, there appears to be an inverse correlation between the size of the grain and the notability of a person.
Maybe this is a result of human behaviour. We’re conditioned to follow the pack, and the pack says a title, or an achievement, gives one more credibility or likelihood to not be wrong than everyone else. This is why ‘One Hundred Authors Against Einstein' was published in 1931, featuring essays from over 100 scientists and intellectuals who aimed to discredit Einstein's theory of relativity. Even if this particular case was fueled by prejudice, it still illustrates our tendency to substitute truth with consensus. Einstein famously responded to this criticism by saying, "Were I wrong, one professor would have been quite enough.”
Respect people's accomplishments, but don’t worship their status. We see the outcome but rarely the effort behind it — and that ignorance is what blinds us to those just as worthy but less visible. A popular example is Rosalind Franklin, who should have received the Nobel Prize in Medicine for the discovery of DNA’s structure. Our tendency to worship status and other obvious issues made us overlook her contributions, while those of James Watson and Francis Crick were elevated.
It’s worth noting that role models are valuable only when you remember they’re human as well. That means no worshiping. Healthy admiration is great and should even be encouraged, as it can push us to try harder, new things out of our comfort zone. But always apply the same scrutiny you would to anyone else, because admiration without questioning isn’t reverence but submission.